Why isn't my child eating?

While some children around the world suffer from obesity, others will not be able to enjoy a meal. Broccoli, zucchini, peas or turnips? These are some of the foods that make some parents sweat and some children really disgusted.

Should we, as parents, force them? Punish them? Obviously, the answer is unanimously NO.

Food fads are very often a daily concern for young parents. They see their offspring shut their mouths or balk at this or that vegetable. Sometimes seen as a fight, these table wars become dangers. These are as much for the child as for the parent. The adult no longer knows what to do to ensure that his child gets a minimum of nutrition. While some toddlers sort through their plates hoping not to have to swallow certain ingredients, others refuse to eat any food at all.

Danger for the child or anguish for the parent?

Where is the real problem? Is it the child who eats very little - or not at all - or the parent who is experiencing stress by seeing his child refuse the food offered to him?

The "morning-morning-evening" eating rhythm only exists in humans because animals do not function like that at all. Indeed, when an animal is hungry, in nature, it feeds, whatever the time of day. In our industrialized life, we have been forced to establish certain times for meals. Unfortunately, the child who was able to feed himself as he wanted in utero and during his first days of birth by suckling or bottle feeding on demand, will have to adapt quickly to a system that is totally unknown to him: the planning system!

Many children are traumatized by meals because eating has become a real chore for them, even an obligation that pushes them to revolt. Very often, when it comes time to eat, our children are not hungry. Who cares? Who asks them? No one because our main focus is on the health and vitality of our children. Rarely do we imagine that this health can also involve a small period of fasting or simply a shift in the child's biorhythm.

Should we, as parents, blame ourselves or feel guilty? Of course not! The goal is simply to be aware that the child may associate eating with some form of struggle, rejection or even an exhausting ordeal.

Eating should absolutely be a pleasure and not an obligation or a chore[/quote].

Out of fear, dread and anxiety, the parent threatens, forces and frustrates the child with respect to his or her food. Of course, this happens unintentionally because the parent's fear is emphasized far more than anything else. Love sometimes makes us take false steps.

Also, the risk is that the child may understand, over the days, that each meal will be a duel, a fight and at each moment when he will have to eat, the same mechanism will be put in place in a totally unconscious way: Eating = fight, rejection.

What is the solution?

The most obvious solution will be to become aware of this and bring some harmony back to the table. Eating should absolutely be a pleasure and not an obligation or a chore.

No matter how young, giving children a choice is a priority.

Cases to watch

In the most extreme cases, the chore of eating can lead to eating disorders such as anorexia. This will have to be treated by a specialist in psychology because it is a psychological conflict that can lead the child to a certain weight loss as well as to certain nutritional deficiencies.

Vanessa Colant 30 June, 2017
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